COMBATANTS' REAL OBJECTIVES IN WAGING THE WAR ON SMOKING.(LIFE & LEISURE)

Byline: DAVE BARRY

Just when you think the War on Smoking cannot possibly get any more entertaining, up pops a new batch of lawyers to save the day.

Before I tell you about the latest legal wrinkle, let's review the key points in the War on Smoking so far:

POINT ONE: Cigarettes are evil, because smokers smoke them and consequently become sick or dead.

POINT TWO: The tobacco companies are evil, because they make and sell cigarettes.

POINT THREE: Therefore, in 1998 there was a big settlement under which the tobacco companies, by way of punishment for making and selling cigarettes, agreed to pay more than $200 billion to 46 states and …